Lessons From Grampa

Life lessons my grandfather taught me ...

• Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

• Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.

• A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work."

• Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

• Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.

• When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

• If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.

• How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

• I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

• When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth.... Remember about Algebra.

• On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past - but never the present.

• The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.

• Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make beds and is in good health, and he's already used to taking orders.

• Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

• The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

• Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

• One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

• If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

• Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.